Yamamoto Nozomi’s 「Answer」

This is a translation of Yamamoto Nozomi’s blog post after the Cinderella Girls 4th live. A friend who went was telling me about how Nojo was spamming her burst appeals during the live, and this post actually explained why she did that.
Special thanks to PuchiTL’s friend Meiru for the editing help!

(Check Nojo’s blog for actual pictures)

Well, to start, I’d like to take a moment to write about my feelings and experience.

I took a ton of pictures too, but I’ll upload them to a different post.

I wonder, though… what should I talk about first?

It’s actually kind of embarrassing to try to put all my feelings in writing, hehe.

So, um… Please don’t make fun of me!

Thank you all for coming and watching THE IDOLM@STER CINDERELLA GIRLS 4th LIVE “THE IDOLM@STER CINDERELLA GIRLS 4thLIVE TriCastle Story “346 Castle, be it in person, or through the live viewing.

I mentioned this a bit on Twitter, but the theme I wanted to go for with this live was “the answer”.

During the planning meeting for 4th, it was as if a light had went off in my head. While they were informing us of the setlist and all the costumes we were to wear, a bright-eyed image of Rika came to mind. “I want to wear something sexy!” she exclaimed. At that point, I couldn’t help but think it was Rika who was pulling me along with her.

“That’s it! I’ve gotta do this now and become closer to Rika!” I thought.

With that in mind, I made a promise to myself…

In Episode 26 of the Anime, Rika worked hard and went on a diet to wear a swimsuit, right?

Well I’ve gotta do that too! From that day on, I promised to work hard, just like she did!

A part of the setlist involved a quick wardrobe change, followed by Yes!PartyTime!! into SUPERLOVE☆–both of which are really difficult songs to perform. On top of that, it’d be my first time doing SUPERLOVE☆ live!

What do I do!? Despite how I come across, I’ve actually got no stamina at all… There’s no way I can go through with this… Awawawawa.

To be honest, I was really afraid of how spartan the setlist was…

But Rika would be able to do it! She’d ace the whole thing and return backstage covered in sweat, with a smile across her face, saying “P-kun! How was Rika’s performance?”

I’ve got to do this!

Alright! I’ll improve my stamina at the pool, work on my breathing by doing crawls, and also go on a diet–I’ll hit three birds with one stone!

I’m a genius! ♪

At times when I’m feeling down, I would start thinking about Rika and what she would do in my place. It always gives me the energy to keep going.

Oh yeah! When Marietti succeeded with her diet, she gave me a list of what to eat and what not to eat… It’s time I use that!

Thanks Marietti.

And when I can’t hold it anymore and end up eating a lot… I remember what Fuurin said in Mog Kitchen, “Even if you eat too much that day, you can just balance it across the rest of the week!”

Thanks Fuurin.

I had to skip out eating my favourite foods like rice and ramen, and all the things with too many calories, salt, sugar, carbs and fats. Those were some tough days to get through…

During those days though, I’d think of Rika prancing along going 『キュートなおへそがハートをズキュン☆ 』. And I bet–no I’m sure–or well, at least I hope… that all the P-kun’s would be smiling happily, waving their lights as they watch her dance on stage.

Everyone would tell me “You’re doing great! You’ve got this!” when we meet during lessons, and they’d share what they’re doing themselves to prepare too. I couldn’t possibly write about every single person, but it’s thanks to all of them that I managed to stay motivated and focused!

You know, I’m pretty weird for a girl… I mean, I like rap and gorillas, and have all these odd hobbies. People tell me I have the wrong body type to play Rika, and that our appearances, hobbies, and age are all different too. Am I dragging Rika down…? Did I go overboard during today’s events? I really question myself from time to time…

Rika would act more cute. She’s a much more capable girl than I am… She has the potential to become any kind of idol she wants, and shine while doing it. If I stop growing… it’d be like taking away her potential.

Just thinking about not being able to do more left me feeling helpless.

The 10th live, though… That was when I hit rock bottom. I’ve never felt so bad before…

Don’t get me wrong, despite what I just said, I still had a ton of fun being up on stage! I had the best view in the house, and it felt great to be alive! But after it was over… I felt nothing but disappointment in myself and my lack of stamina–my inability to keep up with everyone else…

After all, Rika would’ve been able to stand side-by-side with them…

I tweeted a bit about it after 10th. That only served to make me even more depressed, though.

The words “Rika would’ve been able to do more” kept on floating around inside my head.

I want to make Rika shine while still being me! I can’t become Rika completely, but I want to be closer to her…

My solution to that came in the combination of two things: 1) my competitiveness, and 2) my strange habit of getting passionately into stuff.

I guess the best way I can describe it as is… it’s like we’re holding hands, Rika and I.

I’m sure there’s people out there thinking “Who does this woman think she is, working herself into the role she’s playing!?”

Well, I know my opinion may be kind of extreme… but that is how I, Nozomi Yamamoto, the voice actress for Jougasaki Rika, do things–and that’s how Rika does it too!

And with that… I somehow managed to collect my thoughts. Yay! Problem solved!! Goodbye depression! Well, I wasn’t in the clear just yet…

Whether I can say it’s truly gone or not though depends on me come October 16th.

Thankfully, I got through the last four months in stride~

Hehe, I got to show off my stomach~ ♡

And thanks to the wonderful dancers I was able to perform SUPERLOVE☆ live!

I said it on stage as well, but I’d be glad if you could accept the love “Rika” is giving you with everything she’s got! ☆

After the event was over, I got a ton of responses on Twitter! So many great ones like “SUPERLOVE☆ was amazing!”, “The outfit looks great on you! You have a sexy stomach!”,  “I saw Rika~!”, and “You worked so hard, please eat all you want!” Seeing them all made me so happy!

Everyone’s kind words make me feel that had I made the right choice. It gave me the confidence and courage I was looking for, and I want to cherish it forever! I’ll–We’ll–keep striving to shine as bright as we can, to show you the best Rika you’ve ever seen!

With that I can say that it’s well and truly gone… right?

That was “the answer” the 4th live gave me.

Thank you so much for all the cheers, smiles, courage and love! Please keep producing Rika from now on!!

*Nozomi*

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